Day 50, 51, 52, 53, 54 - Panaji to Mandrem - Monday 5th, Tuesday 6th, Wednesday 7th, Thursday 8th, Friday 9th December 2011

We waved goodbye to Panaji and boarded the bus for the 30 min drive to Mapusa, here we would change buses for an hour further to Mandrem. So far the trains have been great and our experience of them has been far, far better than we imagined before we came to India. The buses on the other hand are awful!! They are crowded, smelly, and incredibly uncomfortable - and the drivers are all crazy. But they are usually on time for departure and surprisingly arrive on time. Well this bus journey was no different to the rest! It was without doubt the most packed in we have ever been… tinned sardines have more room!! There was a sign just above the drivers head that read "28 sitting and 9 standing - Maximum". As far as Sophie could see through the mass of Indian bodies, she counted 25 standing and the bus conductor had packed on at least another 10 people whilst Soph was in mid-count. It was so packed that hanging out of the windows, smelling the daily stench and being harpooned by cattle horns was more appealing than the smell of sweaty bodies, hippy dreadlocks and Indian paan breath! To make matters worse the bus was making some terrible noises and after 15 mins grinded to a halt….. Without the speed of the bus pushing air through the windows, the heat and smell was unbearable so we all got off to see what had happened - the bus driver had hammered the clutch so badly that he had completely knackered the gearbox so that was it - all off!! After 20 mins and a packet of stale borbourns, the next bus arrived and we boarded, albeit it with our bags on our laps, and 15 mins later we arrived in Mapusa. With our bags we walked to the next bus for Mandrem. This journey would take us an hour with Soph sitting and me standing with the Indian lads! Once at Mandrem town, we started the walk (bags in tow) to the beach. After about 30 mins of walking in the scorching heat, 2 Russians on a Royal Enfield bike stopped to ask us where we were going, we told them Mandrem beach, they laughed and drove on. Somewhat puzzled, we continued to walk, eventually realising that the beach may be further than we thought! So we hailed a cab down and he bought us to Sun Paradise Beach huts, where we met the Indian owner with the classic Indian name… Phillip!! He was great and showed us a beach hut with tiled floors, hot shower, really nice bed and right on the beach for 1500rs. After a nice tea, chat and a few gags we got it for 1000rs (£11).

The next day was brilliant; we just chilled on the beach and totally relaxed. Although, Mandrem is a little different than we had expected. In the book, it says its lovely and quiet and not touristy but if anything, it feels more touristy than anywhere else we've been in India. There are loads of westerners around wearing not a huge amount apart from "I love England" tattoos! We even saw a naked man on the beach today - shock, horror, especially in cover up India. On the beach today there was a bunch of people chatting and when you closed your eyes you could imagine you were in Manchester town centre on a sunny day - there is obviously a travel agent in Manchester doing a roaring trade on holidays to Mandrem, India!

That evening, we had a few beers and a nice meal. To end the day on a perfect note, Soph got a text message from Nic Grogan to say Mitch had proposed!! Can't believe lazy Mitch has finally done it! We decided to celebrate the great news with another beer -happy and a bit tipsy we retired back to our beach hut.

Next day, we decided to venture out. One of the waiter's said we could use his 'scooty' (moped) for the day for 200rs as long as we put a litre of petrol in it which was 30rs, bargain! Stupidly, I had told him that I had ridden one before so he didn't have to worry and I would bring it back in one piece. What I didn't tell him was that I had ridden one before but when I was 16… that's 16 years ago!! I was a tad nervous as I really had no idea and the Indian roads are unforgiving to say the least, Soph on the other hand was terrified… oh she of little faith!! After a quick practice run I was ready, Soph nervously jumped on the back and we were off! Anjuna was where we were heading, for the famous flee market that happens once a week on a Wednesday, the market was about 15 kilometres from our hut. After 10 mins at about 15 kph and 10 of 60 kph we arrived, I loved it and am now thinking of a Kawaskai Ninja when I'm home (midlife crisis awaits!!). The flee market literally sold everything from hardcore tools to hippy hats. It was a mix of desperate Indians selling goods to feed families to maxed out hippys who have sunken more disco biscuits than I've had hot dinners, selling rasta hats! After a walk through the market, lunch and a few purchases, Soph bought some paints and a dress, I bought a chess board (hoping to teach her just enough that I always win!!), we left. We then just scottered around, stopping at the various beachs and town on the coast until it started to get dark.

Safely, back at our place and showered up, we jumped back on the scooty one last time and headed for Dunes Resort down the beach to eat, before heading back to our hut and bed.

Come morning, we woke to find a tenant in our bathroom - Kermit the frog had come to visit! After trying to go to the toilet whilst keeping an eye on Kermit to make sure he didn't spring on me, we headed for our usual museli and fresh fruit breakfast followed by the beach for a day of sun worshipping, reading of our books and the odd beer! At lunch time the owner and my new best friend Philip, was asking what we wanted for dinner. It's really hard to order in the scotching heat when dinner is 7 hours away; to make it easier he ushered a young lad over with a silver tray of warm fish covered in flies, hoping this would encourage us to order now so we didn't go elsewhere for dinner. Whilst Soph was checking the eyes of the fish (apparently clear eyes equals good fish, cloudy eyes - bad fish) I decided we would pick, seeing as it was our last meal in Mandrem, the shark!! So shark tandoori it was, with fresh veg (out of a can) and Kashmir naan with banana fritters and coconut pancake for pudding! With food done and 4 successful games of chess won, we retreated to our hut and bed in Mandrem for the last time.

Morning arrived and with the shark still filling our stomachs, we had until 7pm to wait for our train to Dadar in central Mumbai. So we packed a bag of things we no longer needed and some Christmas gifts for our niece Lottie to send home to the UK; the bag weighed about 5kgs and will be a relief to send home as our rucksacks are probably too full and definitely too heavy! We walked into town, which was about 4km away at 1pm, the hottest part of the day! We saw a little fish market on the way and tonnes of kids happily playing it the local fields amongst cows, dogs and crops. We reached the post office red hot, tired and sweaty to find a small old Indian man and a stack of papers in a small shed. We were carrying a plastic bag hoping to send it to England, I feared our chances of him speaking English, let alone sending our parcel home, were slim! My fears come true as he stated that his little shed in the middle of nowhere only sent letters and only to local people! After being really annoyed, then laughing about it, we started our long walk back. Once there, we had a final check of our passports and jumped into our cab for Thivim train station; here we would catch a train to Mumbai. When we got there I was starving, the local stall seller had the usual - chai, dosa's, samosa's, cashew nuts and drinking water but I spotted some cheeto crisps!! I opened them thinking that they would be cheesy Cheetos like at home, especially as they were in the normal packet. Surprise, they weren't - they we tikka masala flavour, still nice though!! Soph went off to check our seat numbers; we'd booked the train 3 weeks before but it had been waitlist and the tickets had only been confirmed that day so up to that point we'd been unsure if we could get on or if we could, what sleeper berth we were. It turned out that we weren't together and we're several aisles apart which Soph was dubious about - obviously the prospect of sleeping in a carriage alone with several Indian men was not very appealing. Once on the train, we sat together for a bit before the other passengers arrived and we were separated - so we read for a bit, then tried to get some sleep as our arrival in Mumbai was 5am - but not before I had some train food (veg biryani - which literally blew my head off!) and some coffee . We went to sleep (well, at least tried to sleep) ready for waking up in Mumbai (both Soph and I secretly hoping that it will be just like Shantaram!!).