The alarm went off on my phone this morning at 8pm as planned although I had already been lying awake for several hours due to still receiving texts about how Manchester United have erected a '19' sign outside Old Trafford to commemorate how many times they touched the ball in the Champion League Final. Apart from scaring the Bejeebus out of me it also cost me money to receive this text. Anyhow, at least we didn’t oversleep this time.

Cabin watch – as the ship was rolling last night, the cabin also seemed to creak. We felt like we had just spent the night on the Onedin Line!! The shower was only luke warm when I used it but cold when Roisin attempted to use it. It looks like the captain forgot to put the emersion heater on!! However, to make up for this, the hot tap was, as it was meant to be, ‘hot’. Unfortunately there was a matching pair of taps because the cold tap was also running hot!!!

Next the toilet refused to flush. Not to panic. No real danger done yet (if you get my drift!!). We left a note for Antonio, the cabin steward to sort it.

We have been docked in Stavanger since 7am but as we were not due to leave until 4pm, we had plenty of time to grab some breakfast before going ashore to explore the delights of our first port of call.

The next ‘snagging’ was that one of the lifts had lost its ‘bong’!! When a lift arrives at a deck, there is a distinct ‘bing-bong’ before the doors open. Well one of the lifts only goes ‘bing’!! Maybe it was designed that way as it goes all the way down to Crooner’s bar on deck 7!!!

Once ashore a team of tour guides handed out town maps. Usually, Roisin or I do our research before arriving in port so we know exactly where we want to go. We have been surprised at the lack of tourist information about these small towns in the Western Fjords. We have googled each destination and sure, they all have their own website but these are dedicated to the commune and not tourism. Occasionally we found a few paragraphs on a potted history of the area. However, I want to know what there is to see today not what there was to see 200 years ago!!!

Stavanger is the 4th largest city in Norway. Now considering that Norway only has a population of 4 million and after Oslo, Bergen and…(I can’t even think of the 3rd largest city!!!) that makes Stavanger about on par with St. Helens!!! (only more wooden houses and no Tescos!!)

As we walked to the end of the quay and turned to look at the Grand Princess, we noticed that the P & O ship Azura was tied up on the other side of the quay. I said to Roisin, ‘I didn’t realise that the Grand was so much bigger than the Azura’.

To coin a phrase from a popular sit-com about an Irish priest, she replied, ‘No Chris, the Grand Princess is smaller, the Azura is far way!!!’

We headed down toward the cathedral that was built by Bishop of Winchester, Reinhold in 1272. It is the best preserved in Norway. The twin square towers give it a characteristic look that has resisted tampering with until this day. There was scaffolding around it when it came in to view so that story doesn’t hold out very well. Unfortunately I was so taken aback by some gulls having a scrap with the local pigeons that I forgot to take a photo.

From there we spent most of our time wandering through the narrow walkways paved with cobbled stones of the Old town (Gamle Stavanger). Here we found scores of small, wooden houses from 18th century. There are exactly 173 of these houses, the largest in Europe (so I am reliably informed. We also passed a canning museum where you can marvel at canning through the ages. (I’m being sarcastic here!!) Needless to say, Roisin walked swiftly past that attraction. I soon got over my disappointment (more sarcasm) when Roisin (trust her!) noticed a sign for the post office with a speech balloon above is that read ‘s***™’.  Maybe it was a direct way to say that the PO has a poe!! Either way I didn’t realise someone had already patented this bodily function!!!

We made it back to the ship for about 2pm for a well-deserved lunch and a catch up with the entertainment organised for the rest of the day/evening.

Dr Bob and Bill W has suddenly become just Bill W. I think Dr Bob must have been holding him back so Bill W has decided to ‘can’ the double act and go it alone. I’ll keep you informed how this turns out. The other noticeable event is that the Friends of Dorothy is now scheduled for ½ hour after the Bill W meeting. The plot thickens!!!

There is a teachers meeting in the Wheelhouse Bar at 4:30. That’s odd because yesterday a couple we were talking to as part of Swiss Dave’s role call asked Roisin and I if we were teachers. I’m starting to get worried that ‘teacher’ is a euphemism for something!!

The McDonald Twins were playing in the Vista Lounge this evening. They would also be joined on stage by Liz and Jim, so they would!! (a little Corrie humour thrown in there). Seriously, the McDonald twins were playing tonight but we’d probably go for the comedian in the Princess Theatre at 10:30pm

We won the quiz again thanks to Roisin and her razor sharp mind!! (Sarcasm? Nah not this time. I know she reads this blog!!) The question that won it for us was: ‘What musical has starred several of the Nolan sisters and a Spice girl. The answer, of course was Willy Russell’s bitter sweet story ‘Blood Brothers’.

Our prize this time was a mini flashlight. A very useful tool on this trip as the bedroom is pitch black and we may want to get up in the middle of the night. (It’s an age thing for the younger readers!)

After receiving our prizes, I turned to Alice, one of our 3 American team players, and said to her: ‘I’m now quizzing with renewed vigour’

‘Pardon me?’ she queried.

I repeated myself more slowly and enunciated this time. A look of relief came over her face. ‘Oh!’ she laughed. ‘I thought you said you were quizzing with a nude vicar!!!’

Still no toilet flush in our cabin.

Dinner was at the usual time of 8:15pm. We met up with our usual table guests and ordered in the normal way. Roisin ordered the salmon. It looked appetising, as do all the meals on board. They have obviously been watching Mater Chef for presentation tips. Horror of horrors! Roisin’s salmon was…COLD. (a bit like our shower this morning!!!)

The waiter approached and asked if everything was OK. Roisin explained and immediately he apologised and took it away. Within 2 minutes the Maitre D approached and asked Roisin if everything was OK. This was quickly turning in to a Monty Python sketch. Who would be next to turn up on the scene, the owner?? Quickly followed by a meat cleaver wielding John Cleese look a like head chef??!!

Fortunately it didn’t turn out that way. However, if we see one of the crewmembers leaving the ship tomorrow with a stick and bundle tied up in a spotted handkerchief over his shoulder, we’ll know who was responsible!!!

We watched the comedy vocal impressionist, Gary T Thompson after dinner. He was actually not bad. He wasn’t very good at the audience participation thing as he would just insult them but his jolkes and impressions made up for that.

Before retiring, we had a wander outside on deck. It was 11:30pm and although the sun had disappeared below the horizon, it was still light. Ah well, in another couple of days, the nights will start drawing in again!!!

At 11:40, the toilet flushed all by itself. Now that’s what I call a delayed action!!!