UUURRGGGHHHH i have loads of pictures to chuck on but i'm stuck insome crammy little hole with some hippie t*** jammed up against me. I still don't dig the hippies, enlightenment, pureness - shut up, go home, cut your hair and talk like a normal human being to your oxford born parents - we all know your educated so quit f***ing around. Sorry rant over.

AANNNyyy way, we're back in Mumbai tho only for another 3 hours or so thank god. The place is a nightmare, the people are nice enough and fair play they work there arses off with what they have, you have to commend them for that without fail. The men sew, the women do everything else, s not much has changed there lets be honest.

Goa was pretty damn sweet, i wanna tell all the followers that i hired an enfield (which was offered) but caz refused to get on it so i had to make do with a honda scooter bboooooo, 2 actually cos i lost the keys to one hahahaha, obviously i was peter fonda and caz was dennis hopper, a fair few similarities in our appearance.

This place is seriously hot, i'm sweating like an ovary on IVF out here i can tell ya, not to mention caz has PMT so it's like hanging out with a grizzly bear hungry for testosterone blood at times. I think i may have man period as well, if there is one, i'm told there is.

The old boy fought off malaria by the way, i'm fine, there's no need to panic, captain ahab wins again, i knew he would. Though i did have my first squit yesterday and and today my left eye can't seem to take sunlight anymore, talk about one eye opens and one eye closes, i just can't win.

Goa is as you would expect, hot, full of tourists, a couple of indians and 2 elephants. That's pretty much the population of goa right there.

Beaches are stunning rah rah i don't really need to tell you all of this, imagine a brochure and there you go pretty much.

To be honest we spent most of it driving around on our make shift harley davidson, i confess we crashed once, no injuries apart from pride, tho to be fair we were driving thru someones garden area at quiet a quick speed when we hit a sand bank hahaha my ode to ewan mcgregor there, love you mofo.

I think i have had 15 curries in eight days, that has to be a record surely, my constitution should look like my whippy in a week or so i reckon, i'm taking bets as to how long i last, any takers??????

Just got off a 12 hour bus journey, was awesome, travelling again, tho horrendous at the same time cos now we are back in mumbai which sucks.

I'll keep this brief cos don't wanna freak you out mam, i lost the keys to a bike, it got left at the beach for two days, i got driven to owners house where we had a chat and all was grande. Then got surrounded by indians and t*** demanding i get on a bike with them 24 hours later, no worries, kid drive 80mph through streets of goa me holding on to bit of plastic at the bike, (on nice bike i might add) then made me drive bike home which was great in dark which was even better, got back, met knew owner, i'm not sure how many there were, had a rant, shock hands, got surrounded again told to pay for the days rentage, which was harsh, did so cos i have pretty face to preserve, all was grande, we all love each otther now, i don't remember this sort of thing happening so soon last time oh well, don't worry kids.