"Some people are on the pitch.... they think it's all over.... It is now!" Kenneth Walstenholme, 1966We were staying in this pretty nice hostel called Villa Helga, and as is often the case it was made better by the abundance of people that we met. It had been raining all day, big, wrath of God kind of rain, so we had been stuck inside.As the Cat in the Hat failed to show up, we played some cards with the other travellers and then, led by a social offensive fr...

"You are so f***ing money and you don't even know it. You're like a bear with these big f***ing claws and the ladies are like bunny rabbits, and you're looking at your claws and you're thinking, how can I kill this bunny with these claws?" SwingersOur hostel had a kind of lounge common room kind of place, and at seven they gave everyone a free beer, so we showed up. Pretty soon we got chatting to an Irish guy called Paul; quiet, polite sort of cha...

"I have nothing to declare but my genius", Oscar WildeIt's nine am. We slept well on the train last night considering there were 8 separate passport checks and 6 ticket checks. Each time the custom guys look at out Russian and Chinese visas they stare for ages and look at us funny, as if trying to decide whether it's worth picking a fight over.We're on the train now from Belgrade to Sofia. We didn't want to get any Serbian money as we're just ...

"It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it." - Blues BrothersAs I write, we are sat outside a cafe in Banja Luka, a town in North Bosnia. In the background the Italy Australia game is five minutes in. We just got off a five hour train from Sarejevo, and we have another five hours to kill before our next train - we're hoping the football g...