It is somewhat inevitable with me that i fall into a rabbit hole of depression every so often. Factors conspire to get me down and i quickly decend into a lack of confidence, apprehension, anxiety, lots of negative feelings etc.

Having completed one year at the hagwon, albeit split by a 7 week break in the UK, I now found myself in the situation of losing my current job. Things haven't been right since I came back, despite everything being so familiar. I begun to feel like I had made a huge mistake and the optimism drained away rapidly. I decended into semi-madness, unable to concentrate and wrapped with fear. It all happened so quickly. I was taken to a doctor and given some medication - except i had a bad reaction to it, causing additional anxiety. I was shocked by the previously unreached level of repeated panic attacks, and hyper ventilation syndrome. As anyone knows, it takes 3-4 weeks to start working properly. Hence, I have been given a 2 week sabbatical. it was suggested that i went 'home'... but i have made Changwon my home.. so the idea of a permanent return to the UK upset me. Instead I am taking time out to get better, to be able to come back and be myself again.

I don't really know what the future holds, but getting better is the first priority.