So it seems my body clock is b*****ed, I sat awake until 6:15am reading "A Portrait of India" expecting to find a charismatic first hand experience of a traveller. In fact it turned out to be a journalistic account of the worlds largest democracy and it's politics. From how it was formed, the divisions and terrible atrocities between the religions of Sikhism, Hinduism, Islam and Jainism to name a few. Skip the next paragraph if you couldn't give a s***e.... I l...

I awake to heavy, atmospheric rains! It is the monsoon season after all. I estimate 4 seconds exposed to the elements would see me soaked to the bone. So I am cocooned in a room with little more than half a packet of sticky thorntons sweets leftover from the flight, and a dribble of water! ...the trials and tribulations of a newbie traveller. Lesson 1, always keep a backup supply of food and drink. I venture down the stairwell to get a better view of the colos...

After sleeping remarkably well I awoke with much apprehension, hoping the rest of the hotel no longer resembled a scene from the film 'Hostel' - thankfully it didn't. The daylight bought about a level of respectability and a nod of the head from some fellow travellers in the hallway settled the nerves. So with my usual nonchalant 'f*** you world' attitude I ventured out on to the streets of Bombay! ....Wow No recognisable shops, not a European face in sight for...

True to form and against my better judgement I stumble into the airport; stomach a curdling concoction of jäger, lager and cider - I will never learn! After a quick coffee with the parents I said my goodbyes and meandered through the checkin fumbling my papers at each checkpoint and speaking excessively polite as if not to arouse suspicion of my imaginary terrorsome past After pre-booking an emergency exit seat I sat there watching everybody get on the plane wi...