I'd been looking forward to trying a Durian fruit ever since i saw them on Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. How bad can it be, it's a bloody fruit! The answer is pretty damn bad. First there's the smell, which hits you from about 100 feet away. In Tesco (yep you can't go anywhere can you) where they were selling them, all the fruit and veg department smelt of Durian. The smell is like strong cheese, mingled with beef, that's been left in the sun for a fortnight. The...

Arriving in Singapore after the bustle of Kuala Lumpur and Yogyakarta felt like something out of a sci fi movie. People were heading to work and no one said a word. The cars moved but seemed to be all moving silently on electric power. The underground was a model of efficiency, everyone standing patiently in line single file whilst the air conditioned trains gently glided to a halt. The roads looked like they'd been hoovered. All that could be heard was a gentle ...

And so it was that this week i left Indonesia behind, heading for the higher prices and shopping malls of Malaysia. After a week in Yogyakarta it felt like time to move on, having exhausted the menu of Via Via on my street, and having grown a bit weary of Bang Bang; a kind of tanned 51 year old Bruce Lee character. 2 years ago there was an earthquake in Java, destroying nothing on my street apart from Bang Bang's tattoo parlour. Ever resourceful the guy now rents...

Surfing turned out to be similar to trying to jump on and stay on a banana skin, sat atop a particular slippery piece of soap, whilst it's skating around an ice rink. In fact, after the second afternoon of trying, having fully stood up on the bloody thing in a way that resembled me surfing about 8 times in four hours, I sat on the beach and looked out at all the people in the sea with surfboards. Of, i'd guess about 50 people, I'd say 2 were actually stood up sur...

Monkeys? We came from Monkeys!? Well, after today I'm one step closer to believing it. Now, animals to me have always seemed pretty dumb. Most of them stand around for a bit in a field until we eat them don't they. Okay, so dogs run around, catch sticks, lick your face, but they're never gonna pass an IQ test are they. Cats to me are simply women on permanent PMT so that's about all I'll say about cats. For the last couple of hours though I have been sat in t...