Welcome to the latest edition of "Phil b****es and moans his way around the globe" 

After a minor altercation with some loon Tarn bumped into and took sorry to mean please shove my wife back and then come and go off at me in front of our kids. Ordinarily I would have said "F*** off you sh*t truck" but trying to ensure friendlier relations with our veiled friends I told her to go away.

We managed to snag two rows on the plane which is only 3/4 full so I thought it was looking like a good flight as we had left the ground and one could safely assume it was unlikely anybody else would be boarding the flight.

As I basked in the vacant seat next to me and lovingly caressed the vacant one in front of me a baby started hysterically crying but all of a sudden all electronic devices were permitted for use. The synchronicity of it all was too perfect as Green Day drowned out the din from the less than pleased infant in it's tracks.

It was all too perfect and on key some bullock of a woman who obviously had tired of wearing her husband down to a nub decided she liked the space - my space.

Well for the next 6 hours she had multiple violent spasms which only ceased so she could stuff herself. Perhaps she was unaware of my presence until I punched the back of her seat which cured her spasm attacks immediately.

Also why is it every time you nearly nod off some a$$hole bumps into you on their way to the toilet.

Oh well the baby is asleep, the pinhead in front has reclined the seat and we still have 4 farken hours of this crud. Oh I hope John Lennon's prophecy of instant karma comes to fruition and Eleanor Rigby in front ends up with a bigger a$$hole on front of her for the next leg and if it's me she can be assured of it. Hope she can find some DVT socks in KL. 

And if I manage a kip I will be awoken by the lovely Malaysian hostie (god bless em) in 2 hours with my shrimp curry breakfast no doubt.

Oops Junior just woke for his 4am scream 

I love travel but hate the flight (yeah that's never been said before). 

SERENITY NOW
SERENITY NOW
SERENITY NOW

We arrived into KL with a cracker of a sunrise. No sleep but 12 hours closer to home and my own bed. 

So time for 2 hours of sleep deprived duty free shopping.