Wrinkly bottoms, floppy bosoms, wobbly tummies and nether regions that should really be never regions - there they all were for me to enjoy without embarassment. Yes, I did it: I finally went starkers in front of naked strangers. Before the juicy details, first a bit of background. In preparing for this boating adventure I had read all sorts of books on France, some boating-oriented, others more general travel tomes. One, the name of which escapes me, was writte...

I am alone on Liberty for 12 days. Not adrift, with no sign of land or anything like that. I'm not having to drink my own urine (at least not yet). It's just that Liz has gone back to the UK for half-term, to lend some moral support to daughter Yasmin who is half-way through her A-levels and finding it a bit stressful. Meanwhile, Liberty is moored in the pleasant port of Marseillan, on the south coast of France. If you stand on the top deck on tip-toe you can a...

Remember the film Jaws? Dah-dum... dah-dum... (pause while girl swimming looks around with a sense of fear)... dum-dum-dum-dum, dum-dum-dum-dum... (scream) One of the best things about the movie, and what made it genuinely scary, was that you didn't get to see the shark much - instead you mainly saw the fear it generated, and occasionally its leftovers. Eew. The scariest thing about the Canal du Midi (...dah-dum...) is not a wayward water-dwelling creature, but...

I lost my temper in French for the first time on Friday 9 May. I only mention the specific day bacause the French love to name streets after dates special in French history, hence Rue de 14 Juille, etc. Avenue de 9 Mai is likely to be seen soon. Read on... (Oh, and BTW, I've had to use one creative spelling to get past the Off Exploring auto-censor, the wimp!) Liz and I had been going well on a long days' cruise, part of our planned schedule to get us close to A...

Let's get one thing clear: ducks are stupid. As we've cruised along the various French rivers and canals since purchasing our 'bateau plaisance' Liberty last September, we've seen all manner of wildlife, from elegant herons and huge rat-like Coypus to sunbathing turtles and the aforementioned IQ-challenged canards. It's been fun, but revealing too. Take, for example, herons. Usually they stand on high-alert on the canal bank, watching intently for any sort of f...