Walking along Peregian Esplanade Elmo is pulling very hard On his nightly ablution break Lynn it was her turn to take Him for this ever essential stroll. Once he finished with the piss And was retuning home to bliss All of a sudden a grey lightning flash From out of nowhere the Ayrdale did dash To grab poor Elmo by the neck. And with an almighty crash the hound Did throw little Elmo to the ground Screams from Lynn and two surfer guys Who did their earthly best to pries The dogs from mortal battle. And now old Elmo is enveloped in plastic His head is in a cone that drives him spastic His back with shunts and stitches to the wound A present of some vicious hound To a little dog with heart aplenty.