IT FEELS LIKE THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR. NOT SUCH A GOOD DAY TO BE ON THE TEMPLE TOUR OF AYUTTHAYA THEN. RESPITE IS FOUND IN A TINY (HALF THE SIZE OF MY BEDROOM BACK IN LONDON) COFFEE SHOP WITHIN MARKET AREA. THE AIR-CON IS WORKING OVERTIME AND HAS THE EFFECT OF CREATING ATMOSPHERIC CONDITIONS OF A WALK IN REFRIDGERATION UNIT. I HAVE MY DIGITAL CAMERA AND MOBILE SPREAD OUT ON THE BURNT WOOD TABLE; STACKS OF FASHION MAGAZINES ARE NOT SO CASUALLY ON DISPLAY. I COULD BE IN LONDON - EXCEPT THE TEA COMES WITHOUT MILK. I SPEND AGES TRYING TO EXPLAIN MILK - MIMIC POURING OF SMALL JUG ETC - NOT HAPPENING. I'M INVITED BEHIND COFFEE COUNTER TO SEE IF I CAN FIND/SEE WHAT I SEEK. I KEEP SAYING 'MILK, MILK' AND POINT TO SOYMILK DRINK IN COCA COLA FRIDGE. I RECONCILE MYSELF TO BLACK TEA - THE GIRL SUDDENLY PULLS OUT A COLD BOTTLE OF MILK FROM UNSEEN FRIDGE AND SAYS 'MILK' - I SAY 'YE MILK' - WE BOTH LAUGH. I LAUGH EVEN MORE WHEN SHE BRINGS A MUG TWICE THE SIZE OF MY TEA CUP FILLED WITH MILK. I TRY TO EXPLAIN ONLY A LITTLE IS IN FACT NEEDED, WHICH IS MADE EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS WHEN SHE ARRIVES BACK AGAIN WITH AN ICE-CREAM SCOOP AND DELIVERS TWO SCOOPS OF ICE COLD MILK INTO MY TEA WHILE THROWING ME A LOOK OF YOU FOREIGNERS ARE WEIRD - POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK OR WHAT?