Today I went on a day tour from New York to Philadelphia and then on to Amish Country.

I had booked the tour from what appeared to be a reputable tour company, however as I discovered they outsource. (Some may remember that my tour was actually scheduled for last Monday, but they had failed to show up!). So with great trepidation I returned to the freezing cold corner of Park Ave and 42nd to wait, and wait. But they did show up, not that I would have known. Some random guy happened to just ask me if I was waiting for the Philly tour and directed me around the corner where they were parked.

I was expecting a bus. The brochure said bus. In fact it said luxury coach with bathroom. However, what was waiting for me was a red, dented minivan. The kind you would imagine the mob using to abduct people.

Seated in front were two 30-ish heavily made up and jeweled Spanish speaking women. The driver, and the tour guide.

The driver spent most of the time on her mobile phone without a hands free and constantly changing the radio station which she had up VERY loud. So in there words, there was often no hands on the wheel as we were flying down the freeway.

The tour guide was hopeless. Her english was terrible and her grasp of history and facts was even worse. Which was very disappointing as I am sure that we missed some interesting and some important facts.

We arrived at the historic part of Philly and were raced through the Liberty Bell Centre to then stand around out the front of the Independence Hall for 30 minutes while the tour guide wandered around looking for a way to get us in without tickets. In the end after some of us asked questions she went and got tickets while we were sent off for 'breakfast' where we were walked into a disgusting cafe with lines of fatty foods in bain maries. Yuck. I had a cup of tea from a stall outside and hit the tourists stores.

Eventually we got into Independence Hall which was great. Was the place where men like Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, George Washington drafter the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution. So it was good to see.

We then re-boarded the van and went about 2 seconds down the road to the 'historic street', which consisted of one row of houses and a cobbled street. We then went to the house of Betsey Ross, the woman who sewed the first American Flag. The house and museum are closed on a Monday, which is strange that we go there given that the tour only happens on Monday. And yet they take us there anyway to look at the outside of the house. Yay.

After that we had another hour of crazy driving out to Lancaster County, home of the Quakers, Amish and Mennonites. It was laundry day for them. Every home you drove past had huge washing lines stretching across their yards with rows of black, gray, burgundy and navy shapeless dresses, and black britches (not pants) for the men. I think we only saw about 5 Amish/Quaker/Mennonites. The real ones hide from the tourists. And it is disgustingly touristy. It is like a theme park for the Amish.

So we were taken on a buggy ride by a real Amish man, his name was Mennow. Then we went to the village of Intercourse, I kid you not, for lunch (yuck!) and to buy souvenirs. I came away with some ginger ale and a gingerbread man. The food was dreadful and the place was so touristy and sad.

Anyway, quick (very quick) 3 hour drive and we were home again. Considered kissing the ground when we got out. And this time I stood firm, I did not tip. I am happy to tip for a good experience, this whole debacle did not fall into that category. I smiled, said thanks and walked away.