We checked out of our guesthouse - Croissant d’Or (AKA: Laotian Fawlty Towers) this morning - early, if not bright. Despite having the cruise company rep visit us last night for a chat and to request a breakfast box ready for 6.30 am... we weren’t holding our breath. Lovely people, excellent food in the cafe, very well meaning - but the front desk is where the dirty laundry goes... heaven knows how it gets there as we’ve not seen hide nor hair of a housekeeper. So we launched into gear at 5.45 am and left at 6.15 - climbing down the stairs - creeping, creeping... We needn’t have worried too much - the only being awake in the darkened ground floor was one of the housecats and just like Blackie we had to go hunting for breakfast. Several knocks later one of the staff woke up to make us our baguettes and fried eggs. In the end we left the joint on the dot of 6.30 am - breakfast bag in hand and only a few minutes drive down to the Mekong River dock where we inspected our massive boat... just for us and 3 others (could seat 40). Though almost empty is about right given what we paid for the 2 day cruise and overland transfer from the border to Chiang Rai and onwards to Chiang Mai. We did our research, as always, and the blogs all said the morning on the boat is surprisingly cold and breezy. It never seems possible that it will be cold here in Asia. But it was! Finally a chance for me to wear the chartreuse knock off North Face jacket we picked up in Hanoi - perfect for keeping the chill off.

The plan for the next couple of days? We’re cruising upriver (against a very strong current) on the Mekong from Luang Prabang, Laos towards our stop for the night in the village of Pak Beng. Then another day cruising tomorrow before reaching Huey Xai in the late afternoon and crossing into northern Thailand at Chiang Kong. Couple of hours drive to Chiang Rai - stop for the night, then the following day at an eminently respectable 11.30 am, a drive and sightseeing around Chiang Rai - Blue Temple/White Temple, before heading to Chiang Mai for the first time.

We’re having a grand time chatting with our guide and were discussing the recent Lunar New Year or Animal New Year as it’s known in Laos. We know our years - I’m a Rat and James is Snake - and whilst our guide knows the year he is born 1988 - he actually doesn’t know his date or month of birth - his mother had six children including him and she remembers he was born in the dry season. Probably April. Life is so different here. We can’t help but notice how incredibly wealthy westerners are - just by virtue of being in Laos or Cambodia - even the skintest backpacker will have more funds on hand than the monthly wage of a worker in a restaurant or hotel - US$80-100. Incidentally - lunch on the boat was incredibly good - and washed down with a bottle of Laos beer, even better.

...And time passed, as it does on any sort of cruise...

Well the Mekong River through Laos, she is done. We’ve enjoyed an alternately peaceful and stressful jaunt along the Mekong River over two days. Peaceful when we were just cruising along and enjoying the scenery (pictured) and stressful whenever the tour company or the overnight lodge in Pak Beng were involved - the phrase ‘work well when cornered like rats in traps’ would probably cover it.

We had the guide phone ahead to let the villa in Pak Beng know we were about 15 minutes out so they could pick us up at the pier... what? no pickup? pay for a tuk-tuk? 15,000 kip - OK, whatever. Got there - boat was invaded by bag carriers - our guide couldn’t organise drinks in a brewery - so he let them grab the bags... that’ll be 5000 each - OK, whatever - awfully steep, sandy covered slope to get them up. So - guide to organise tuk-tuk for short run to villa... 30,000 kip - WTF? The name of the villa was repeated at least 10 times... 30,000 kip. OK, whatever... Ended up driving for a few kms - right up the hill to ‘Not our Hotel’. As beautiful as it was, it still wasn’t our hotel - BKC Villa does not sound a bit like ‘Le Grand Resort’ now does it? Even the posh Le Grand staff couldn’t figure out why we were there... We stayed in the tuk-tuk and were taken back down the hill - eventually the driver found, with our assistance, ‘lo and behold, BKC Villa. Between the 3 staff on hand, approximately 1/6th spoke some English - they even pulled us out of the shower with a big knock on the door and all three waiting to check if we were in the right place... er... guys... you just gave us the key... Dinner was not bad. Bed was rock hard but the water was hot - so better than Luang Prabang where the water was usually, though not always present, and hardly ever correct. Slept. Ish

Got up at 5.45 am and had breakfast done by 6.45 am and it was nice to see a couple of elephants brought down for a bath from the elephant sanctuary (slash tourist attraction/park) across the river. The owner - who spoke excellent English and his wife, also with good English, were back on duty and apologising profusely for their absence - there should have been a pickup, the old driver who took us to the wrong place is apparently deaf... all very sorry - but sinful that the B Team can run the joint into the ground within 24 hours just because the owner isn’t there cracking the whip.

He thankfully gave us a lift to the boat and thanks to an email to the tour company the night before, bags were taken on efficiently by the guide and the boat captain. We were on the boat and pounding up the river by 7 am. The guide (bless his shy and subservient litlle socks) kept trying to insist we’d be getting a tuk-tuk for a 30 minute drive when the boat docked in Huey Xai - in order to get us to the border. We had in depth discussions about the concepts of private/air-conditioned/vehicle and no we wouldn’t be getting a tuk-tuk and we certainly wouldn’ be sharing it with the 3 Korean blokes on the boat. Concepts were eventually absorbed (however floggings will continue until morale improves) and the company was, eventually, on the same page as us. Still had to fend off the Koreans and the company rep trying to take them with us in the air-con minivan when we reached Huey Xai. It was becoming a competition. We finally reached the Lao/Thai border Yay! Into Thailand... only another 2 hours in a car to get to Chiang Rai... we are redefining the meaning of ‘long day’ on an almost daily basis. Should be there by 7.30 pm. Ish.