I have also added Waitomo and Coromandel today. Most men enjoy farting; I love it. I think it is healthy to fart as it keeps the insides clean. My Grandfather always stated that it was 'better to have an empty flat than a bad tenant'. Women, and particularly Jodie, have a different view. This leads most ladies to hold in or 'bake' farts for many months, so when the inevitable dose happen it is enough to strip paint of walls, to kill dogs and to make God fearing...

One of the things we really wanted to do on this trip was see glow worms, so after a quick cold shower at the Hot Water Beach car park (yes we showered in a car park, in the open), we headed west to the other coast. Waitkomo is famous for its glow worm caves, but it also claims to have the worlds first Hobbit Motel, and in a town nearby there is a Kiwi House. We started at the Kiwi House which was a trifle disappointing. Kiwis are great to see - they are such a...

We had one last night at Rose's before heading off, which of course involved a late night. It was a lovely stay in Paihia; Rose is a great host, the Bay of Islands are wonderful, and we met some really nice people. Paihia attracts an eclectic bunch. There is a high Maori population, good solid Kiwis and many Europeans who are staying for various amounts of time. Rose attracts many of the interesting ones. Lucy was a lovely Brummie who popped out to NZ about 18 ...

We are now back on dry land, and I think we are still friends! Our first stop outside Auckland was Paihia, which is a small town north east of Auckland and the principle town in the Bay of Islands area. It was the area that was first settled by Europeans. Paihia is also where our friend Rose lives, who is the Queen of the 'bad idea bears'. Rose is a proper nutter. She came out here just over two years ago after deciding that the way ahead was to sell her ho...

Arriving in Auckland was a huge culture shock. It seemed so clean, ordered and subdued compared to South America. And people spoke English (though I have come to the conclusion that wherever you are in the English speaking world, if you are out and about before 7am most of those you come across - street cleaners, bus drivers, night porters etc - will not be native English speakers. I think speaking English makes us sleep too much!). We touched down at 4am knowi...