Having begun our journey around South America without one of our key bloggers, we are unsure how to go about writing this. Anyway, here's our best shot...

We arrived in Santiago early afternoon on 26th June after a 12 hour flight, having left Auckland at 4.40pm on 26th June. Our bodies had not coped well with this unusual occurrence, so after agreeing to meet a couple of guys from our plane for drinks in the evening, we headed for a quick nap, which ended up lasting 15 hours. Drinks missed.

The following morning, we headed to the Plaza de Armas for a free, English speaking, walking tour of the city. After meeting our guide and a couple of English girls who joined us, we had a quick look around the plaza. The tour continued through the pleasant city centre of Santiago, taking us past the presidential place (Palacio de la Modena), an insanely large Chilean flag, the Chilean stock exchange, the student area where both public and private universities are sited and finished at the house of famous poet, Pablo Neruda.

En route, we also had a couple of stops to sample the local food and drink the city had to offer. First up was the roasted peanut chain of stands called Nuts 4 Nuts, which were situated every 100 metres along every street. We were informed that the nuts had only become a hit in Santiago since the pioneer had made his breakthrough selling his nuts in New York. Previously the Chileans had laughed off his idea of nutty snacks throughout the day but the publicity from USA had made them a national treasure. Our second stop was to try a 'mote con huesillo'. This was a drink that looked positively disgusting and more so when we were told it was made from peach juice mixed with barley kernels, topped off with a whole peach lumped in the bottom of the cup. Having refused to sample it given our hatred of fruit, we assured our guide that we would try it later. Our last food and drink stop was for a drink known as a Pisco Sour, made of Pisco (alcoholic spirit), lime/lemon juice, egg white and topped with cinnamon. The ownership of this drink is apparently highly contested between Chile and Peru but our guide assured us it was a Chilean creation. Knowing that one of our stops in Peru was to be a town called Pisco, we were not necessarily convinced. As we walked around the city we were also pointed out the large number of coffee shops which didn't come as a surprise to us given that South American countries are often synonymous with good coffee. Chile, however, is not one of these countries.. In fact, the coffee there is so bad that they have introduced a coffee with legs scenario in almost all coffee shops, whereby the waitresses wear next to no clothing so as to attract tired and thirsty businessmen to buy the revolting coffee. Business is thriving.

After the tour, we headed up the Cerro San Cristobal (hill in near the centre of Santiago) on a funicular railway. Atop the hill stood a statue of the Virgin Mary and a great platform for viewing the city. However, the large amount of smog in the air prevented us from seeing much beyond where we had already walked. Not wanting to pay the fee to get the funicular railway back down the hill, we chose to walk it. This should have been a simple enough task as a paved road wound down the hillside but in our haste to get back to town in time for the first of a feast of El Classico matches, we managed to take a path trodden by few before us. A gentle slaloming path quickly turned into a dusty, unmarked and direct track down the hill, which saved us no time at all. Sweaty and tired from our unnecessary climb, we slumped into our seats in the inevitable Irish pub and order our first Cusqueña of the holiday, a beer we would become well acquainted with through South America.

Our final day in Santiago began in disappointing fashion as we headed to the Cultural Centre for a look round the recommended museum. We were greeted by a rude and blunt woman at the desk who refused to give us any useful information and after a brief wander around we left with our sponge like brains arid. As usual after disappointment, we took to food and drink to cheer us up. We headed for the fish market that our guide had told us to visit the previous day and were met instantly with promotions guys trying to get us to eat in their restaurants. After shrugging off a couple of weak efforts, we were confronted by a very keen salesman who entertained us with his appalling cockney accent. Amused, we allowed him to seat us in his restaurant, Donde Augusto and we ordered the recommended dish, the Pastel de Jaiba. This dish is a crab and cheese pate which certainly didn´t disappoint, despite its slighty odd texture.
Feeling chuffed with our cultural pick-me-up, we headed back to hostel, checked out and set our course for the airport.

After checking in with plenty of time to spare, we headed to the somewhat sparse departure lounge of Santiago International Airport. As the minutes past and planes scheduled for after our departure time left, it was clear we would be arriving into Lima slightly later than anticipated. Two hours later than planned, we finally boarded the Taca plane for our short flight into Lima. Touching down into Peru´s capital, we made our way to the Cirque hostel in Lima´s Milaflores district. Soon after arriving, we met up with Helen, one of our travelling buddies from the South Island of New Zealand. At the same time we also met Helen´s roommates, one of whom, Cat, revealed that she would be on the same tour as us throughout South America. We promptly headed to the bar for a couple of drinks where one of Helen´s roommates, a girl from Scotland, told us some of her travelling stories from South America. She filled us with confidence by revealing that when in Columbia she had had a shotgun held to her head by a hostel owner high on Cocaine, who thought she hadn´t paid for her room, when she already had done. Whilst this story was slightly concerning, what concerned us even more was that her reaction was to laugh at him and refuse to hand over any more money. In our opinion she was a little bit bonkers.

Following a late start the next day, we checked out of the hostel and checked into Hotel Britannia where our Southern Cross tour started. After swapping the squalor of hostels for the luxury of a 4 star hotel, we then decided to take a tour of the city. Having been warned against walking through central Lima due to its high crime rate, we opted to take an open top bus tour of the city. With the muffled tour guide speaking broken Spanglish with a voice only matching the decibels of the old tour bus' engine, we were provided with little to no useful information. The tour did take us past the main sights of Lima which included; Huaca Pucllana ruins, the Plaza San Martin, the Plaza Mayor, the Basilica de San Pedro and Catedral de Lima. The supposed highlight of the tour was a guided visit around Lima's primary cathedral. However, the numerous paintings and sculptures lost their interest value very quickly as the guide's dull voice and even more mundane descriptions would have bored even the most avid art follower. Soon after, the bus took us back to the Plaza Mayor where the tour ended.

That evening, we headed for the introductory meeting, where we would find out more about our tour, meet our guide and meet the people that we would be spending the next few weeks with. Before we arrived, we were apprehensive about the potential people on our tour, worried they would be well beyond our age bracket. When we entered the lobby our fears were realised as a sea of grey hair sat in front of us. We walked over and introduced ourselves to what we found to be a posse of Canadians. There were 3 ladies from Calgary travelling together; Helen, Andrea and Lorna and a couple from Vancouver called Jo and Mo who were affectionately known for the rest of the trip as MoJo. We were then joined by Cat from Liverpool, who we had met the previous evening, as well as a 53 year old Korean man called Jeong Seok and we began our tour briefing.

After a few minutes of the meeting, a figure appeared on the balcony overlooking the restaurant. Perspiring profusely, he struggled to gather his words and with a look of concern, asked whether we were the GAP tour. After our positive response, he paused for a moment, before rushing back upstairs and out of sight. 5 minutes later, he returned, maintaining his confused look and introduced himself as 26 year old Alex McCormick from Leamington. After his somewhat erratic entrance, the group was split between those who thought he was very drunk and those who suggested he may be mentally retarded. Having experienced many drunken people before, Ant and Dave were leaning towards the latter. However, fortunately, whilst shocked at our own poor judgment, Alex informed us that he had indeed been drinking since 4pm with some locals in Lima city centre. Meeting adjourned, the 11 of us headed out for a meal and got to know each other a little better. This included finding out that the older generation were all really sound and that they would add value to our trip. After the meal Ant, Dave, Cat, Alex and Jeong Seok headed for a few drinks in order to break the ice a little further.

For a bit of culture our first port of call was an English Pub called ´The Old Pub´. After a few drinks we were joined by two Peruvians one of whom, Carlos, had spent several years in the UK. Unfortunately for him these few years were spent at University in Aberystwyth. A couple of beers and shots of Pisco later, Carlos and his friend had one hell of a argument, as it appeared that his friend was taking substantial liberties with Carlos´ bar tab. A few minutes and plenty of shouting later, the friend left with his friendship with Carlos apparently in tatters.

Soon after, we left one bar for another. Upon exiting the Old Pub all Dave´s dreams came true when the love of his life, a sexy, sassy and seductive, 70+ year old Peruvian beggar accosted him. She approached him at the door, flung her arms around Dave and they enjoyed a passionate embrace. With sexual tension high and the Peruvian wanting more from Dave, the group thought he had pulled. However Dave soon got cold feet and opened his wallet and paid a very small sum of money to ensure the woman and her wrinkles would leave him alone. The night then moved on to the first club.
Here, knowing Dave was desperately thirsty, Ant challenged him to down half a litre of beer. We are unsure as to how this happened but the flip side of the bet was that if Dave successfully completed his challenge, Ant would have to catwalk on the clubs stage as Liam Gallagher. Eyeing up the beer, Dave drew upon his substantial drinking experience and polished off his beverage with consummate ease. This prompted Ant to jump on stage and pull off an uncanny impression of Liam Gallagher on the catwalk that wouldn't have looked out of place in Milan.

At around 3am, the club closed and most of the patrons returned home. However, our thirst for South American nightlife continued unabated. As a result, Carlos led us to a club on the main square that appeared to be open. However, upon arrival, the bouncer initially refused us entry on the grounds that by law he was not legally allowed to let anyone in after 3am. However despite our initial rebuff, the bouncer suggested that the small sum of 10 soles each given to the nearby police officer should be enough for him to turn a blind eye. Having completed our first bit of bribery in South America, we entered the club. Shortly after, we were acosted by a group of Peruvians, who seemed very keen to teach us salsa. Given the sense of rhythm and exceptional dance techniques perfected in some of the finest establishments Watford, Leicester and Southampton have to offer, we quickly picked up the basics of salsa dancing. As the night wore on and the salsa became more exuberant, Ant looked to make his exit. Instructing Dave to remain on the dance floor, he went to find Cat and Carlos. No more than 2 minutes later, Ant returned with the pair, only to find Dave had gone. Having searched the club with no success, some members of the group were worried that Dave may have been abducted by the Peruvians. However, Ant was familiar with the pattern of most of Dave´s nights out and suggested that before anyone got carried away, they should search the nearest eating establishments. Sure enough, 2 doors down the road, there was a Burger King where we were able to find Dave ordering all manner of foods. Refuelled, we headed back to the hotel at 6.30am to hit the sack, leaving us a generous 2 hours sleep before our first bus of the tour left at 8.30am for Paracas. A great start to the tour!

Ant and Dave