After spending 6 weeks with James and Dave it was time to leave my fellow intrepid explorers for a week as I made my way up to the Red Centre and Alice Springs. On arrival I made my way to the bright lights of Alice Springs town centre to see what it had to offer. I found a rather depresing and intimidating town centre, with a clear divide between the local Aboriginals and visiting tourists. The streets were lined with groups of aboriginees that in the absence of work have decided the best way to pass the time is to get blind drunk and shout at anyone unfortunate enough to walk past them. At night time apparently Alice turns into a tribal battle ground between intoxicated Aboriginals and the sight of fighting and even stabbings are common. It was safe to say I was glad to get back to my hostel which was appropriately named "Haven" where I spent a quiet night in preparation for a 5am start the following day to start my tour.

As the alarm went off at 5, I crawled out of bed in a typically upbeat and jovial mood as you would expect having been awoken at such an ungodly hour. I got all my things together and enjoyed a glorious last breakfast of Baked Beans on toast before being picked up by the Rock Tour and our guide/driver/head chef/DJ/councillor for the next 3 days, Brydee. After only an hour on the bus we were asked/ordered to get up to the front of the bus and provide a 1 minute biography of ourselfs in order to get know each other, a task that with my distain of public speaking I was thrilled to complete. My fellow Rock tourers were a mixed crowd, that included 2 couples from Canada, two Swedes, four Germans, one from Ireland, one from Italy and one from Kettering. One aspect of the trip I wasnt prepared for was the amount of driving we were doing. The short distance between Alice and Uluru that appeared on the map equated to over 250
miles. Unfortunately, instead of enjoying the views and resting, as Brydee doubled up as the bus DJ, we were subject to the excruciating noise of Katy Perry sandwiched inbetween some of Australia's worst country music. Two hours of Rolf Harris and his wobble board would have been far more preferable. After two hours of ear bleeding noise from the bus' sterio system we arrived at our first stop, Kings Canyon.

To ease us in the the 3 hour hike ahead of us the first obstacle to overcome was the lovingly named "Heartattack Hill" to ascend the 300m to the top of the Canyon. A trek that was easy after the exceptionally healthy way we have been living and the strict fitness regime we have all managed to keep up during our time away. Eventually I reached the top and was treated to spectacular views across the Canyon and down towards Kings Creek. Following a lengthy break to recover from our ordeal up Heartattack Hill and a gormet lunch of Bread Roll and Apple we ventured further along the rim of the Canyon. Despite her appalling taste in music Brydee gave a very interesting insight into aboriginal life and customs that would have been prevalant on the land only a hundred years ago. We then descended down to the canyon floor for a quick dip in understated water hole called "the Garden of Eden". After another hour of spectacular views we made it back to the bus exhausted and thankful we had managed to pick one of the only overcast days in the Outback to do the hike. It was then time to head towards our camp for the night making a couple of necessary stops for firewood and a few bottles of the amber nectar. We then headed over to "The Broken Shelter" at Curtain Springs where we would be making camp for the night. Duties were split amongst the campers and using the extensive skills learned at Scouts under the tutelage of Victor Daupe I helped the rest of the men light a roaring fire that would be used to cook the nights meal of chilli con carne. Following dinner and a few drinks around the campfire it was time to hit the sack, or as the aussies call it a "swag". We all got into our glorified canvas bags and slept under a unfathamable number of stars and were given the invaluable advice by Brydee that Dingos are rare and if you wake up with a snake in your swag, "dont panic". Only a matter of hours later at the inhumane hour of 5am we were woken up to pack up camp and head toward the first destination of the day. After another hour in the van accompanied by the sounds of another generic pop diva we arrived at Kata Tjuta where we would be completing another hike through "the Valley of the Winds" and through the unusual domes also known as the Olgas. Half way through the walk the group split as the weak and feable took the short route to the summit and myself along with 5 other hardy souls decided to take the longer and more scenic route up. It was a decision I instantly regretted as the pleasant overcast weather of the previous day was replaced by a searing 30 degree plus heat for the walk. After trudging through the outback for an hour or so we reached the view point and were treated to spectacular views across the valley which you should be able to see in the pictures. Following the walk we headed to the Aboriginal Cultural Centre near Uluru. It was here I found out about the Red Centres most irritating feature. As we attempted to enjoy our could chilli con carni wrap we were joined by a plague of flies. Lunch was over quickly as brushing a layer of flies off our food before each mouthful was not the most pleasant experience. Unfortunately the flies remained with us for the remainder of our trip, we were assured that this was normal for the area and had nothing to do with the fact that none of us had showered since we had left Alice Springs. Following lunch we toured around the cultural centre which doubled up as a overpriced Aboriginal Boutique. Given the prudent use of money throughout our trip and the exceptional budgeting skills we have developed, so long as food and drink are not involved, it was easy to turn down the offer of $100 for a bit of art. Following the tour it was a race against time to reach Uluru for sunset before the other 600 or so tourists pitched up. On arrival at the sunset viewing area we grabbed the last remaining table in front of the rock and enjoyed a remarkably tasty meal of thai chicken stir fry, whilst enjoying several beers. The sunset itself and the way Uluru appeared to change colour throughout was spectacular and definately a highlight of the trip. We then headed back to camp to polish off the last remaining beers.

4 hours later and again at the unfathamable time of 5am I was woken up being dragged along the outback in my swag. Apparently they had been trying for several minutes to wake me and were in the process of filling a large bucket of water to throw on me to do the job. In a sleepy daze I struggled to pack up my swag and headed back to the bus to drive back to Uluru for sunrise. Sunrise was as equally impressive as sunset but in reverse and with a slight hangover. This time we weren't joined by the throngs of tourists as we were for sunset so we were treated by Brydee with Katrina and the Waves 80's classic "Walking on Sunshine" through the bus sound system as the sun emerged from behind Uluru. A slightly surreal experience.

It was then time for the long drive back to Alice. As there were two other buses from the Rock Tour, the journey back was dominated by attempting to prove which tour group was the best. This involved a number of slightly hairy overtaking maneuvers that wouldn't be out of place back on the streets of Cambodia, a lot of shouting, and lumps of soggy Weet Bix being thrown between buses at high speed. After an hour or so of battling we arrived back at Alice Spings in three Weet Bix covered buses and no clear winner. We then headed back to our hostels for a much needed shower before going into the hateful, crime filled town centre of Alice Springs for dinner and a couple of drinks with the rest of the tour group before my flight to Brisbane the following day.

Ant