Friday - headed up to Abel Tasman today, and we stopped off to do some wine tasting at Hunters vineyard in the Marlborough region, and have 7 samples of wine. I am really not taken by New Zealand wine, have found it really hard to find nice wines over here, and considering I'm a bit of a wino (as most of you know), its sadky lacking in quality. Thats not just beacuse they are the cheap house wines that the hostel bar offers (they really do taste like cats piss), but even when you pay more for them, they still leave a lot to be desired. We ended up in Abel Tasman National Park staying at Old Macdonalds farm. It makes me laugh because the drivers kept reiterating how the accommodation was really basic as we get off the beaten track and stay in more remote places than other people. Yeah yeah excuses excuses. Seriously guys, I think animals are treated better than backpackers sometimes. Just because we are poor and travelling on a budget, does NOT mean we no longer have human rights to CLEAN and livable places, This place really sucked. The shower was a tiny trickle of cold water, and I've decided that being a backpacker has hazards. You have to try your hardest not to catch salmonella from the rank kitchens, try not to catch hypothermia or verrucas from the showers (admittedly some of these people are just DIRTY. They need boiling water, a bottle of bleach and a scouring brush to be used on them), and then you try not to get eaten alive by either mozzies, sandflies, fleas or bed bugs. I use a sleeping bag liner so as not to touch the sheets, spray my ankles and feet with 2 different insect sprays, and every day I still manage to accumulate new bites. Its bloody hilarious, and it just makes you laugh with hysteria as thats the only way to cope. One day I am going to marry that millionaire and stay in 5 star accommodation on holidays, not s***ty hostels. It is fun mind, you just have to make a joke out of it all. Anyway, the vodka came out again (sometimes vodka is the only way to cope in these situations), and we all sat outside with a fire and mussell tasting. I tried 2 but had to spit them both out as they are so vile. How can anyone like them????? We all went for a walk to watch the moon rise over the sea about a 10 minute walk from our place, and it was amazing, so close and a great spot to view it from, all red and glowing, then headed back for more chatting and stuff.We got bitten to death once more, then eventually crashed in our 3 bed shack (I do mean shack - or more like a tin shed). At about 6am there was a knock on our door. We just thought it waas Will waking us up to say we were late, but it was one of the Irish girls, she stumbled in, we all asked if she was okay as obviously she had stumbled into the wrong shack, she was completely incoherent and muttered about god knows what. Shelley lay back down and this girl REAKED of drink I thought I was going to pass out from her fumes. She stumbled over to our bags, at which point I thought "F**k this!!" - my sense of humour had been killed at this point, so I sat bolt upright and snarled at her what the hell was she doing as they were our f**king bags and she best back off, at which she stumbled out of the room never to be seen again as she left the next morning - probably in an ambulance to have her stomach pumped. I have a line with my patience - she crossed it.

Saturday - got up nice and early and we went for a 3 hour 12km walk around the National Park taking in the stunning views of Abel Tasman. This place is where the first European (Abel Tasman) discovered NZ, but he never actually stepped foot on the land as the Mauri people captured 4 of his men and ate them. Nice. Not surprisingly he pissed off pretty sharpish before he was made into dessert. The views are like a tropical desert Island. We ended up on the beach where we caught a catamaran back. It was a 3 1/2 hour sailing trip and the sky was pure blue, sun scorching hot, so it was bikini sunbathing time on the catarmaran, taking in beautiful sights, and stopping near the seal colonies to see them too. It was a really cool day.

Sunday 16th November - went onto Barrytown which is the 'wild' west coast. On the way we stopped off at Westpoart seal colony and the pancake rocks. We ended up in the historiacl pub in Barrytown. It was absolutely hilarious, the population of this town is about 40 people, and there is nothing to do, but we were told we make our own entertainment at this place, which is most of the reason for stopping there. They had loads of dressing up stuff, and every Stray coach load dresses up and gets slaughtered basically, so we did. I ended up looking like Laura Ingles from 'Little House on the Prairie', and we had happy hour at the bar, so the whole group of us which is about 30, plus the driver and the 4 trainee drivers crowded round a table and played loads of drinking games, which were hilarious and just made the night. My favourite one is where we had to pass a playing card from one person to the next just using your mouth, sucking the card onto your mouth, then the next person has to suck it off yours e.t.c, I was truly crap. Then the one where you go round in a circle saying "One sock cutter - he cuts socks", the next person says "2 sock cutters - they cut socks" and so on. Obviously you can all tell what you end up saying when your hald cut, but the funniest bit was kistening to all the Germans trying so hard to say it properly, the concentration on their faces is a picture!! We all ended up dancing and basically just having a really cool fun night, and crawling into bed at god knows what time.

Monday 17th November - woke up still drunk, the hangover hadn't even had time to start kicking in, but we had to go across the road to a shed and make bone carvings with the locals. I have a shaky hand at the best of times, but doing it half cut was a mission. It was really cool though, basically you chose a pendant design, and the one I chose represents strength, determination, brings peace prosperity, good health and safety travelling over waters. Then you carved the shape out of a peice of bone, used all the machinery to cut, sand, groove and polish it, and after 3 hours of hard work you get your own Mauri designed pendant made from bone. Very cool. We stopped off at a place which is a museum/cafe where its centred on the hunting of deer theme, and we watched a comical short film of how the Kiwis got the idea of capturing deer for farming. They would literally throw themselves out of helicopters onto the deers backs to capture them and move them to farms. The guy running it was hilarious, and there were 2 possums in the back. The Kiwis hate them as they destroy all the land, but they look really cute, but there were opportunities to try possum pie. I didn't fancy it after seeing the really cute live ones. We then left and drove to Franz Josef the glaciers. We stopped off at a famous lake where all the NZ adverts are filmed, and we are off on a helicopter ride over the glacier tomorrow (if the weather improves). One day its gorgeous sunshine, the next it rains. You can never tell.

Tuesday - well the weather was fine this morning, so we went up in a 10 minute helicopter ride over Franz Josef Glacier. It was my first time in a helicopter and really cool, the view over the glacier was amazing and you really get to appreciate the size of it. We landed at the highest trekking point, and got kitted out with the clamp-ons on our boots. These things are awesome. Considering Im the woman who can fall over on flat ground, these clamp-ons are fully 'Anouska proof' - even I didn't fall over, they are the best invention and they should have them for normal ground that I can use back home!! We trekked over the glacier for 2 hours, and it was actually really hot up there, and the snow was awesome, it looked like sparkly washing up liquid bubbles. We saw loads of crevices and running fresh water which you could drink as it was so pure, and there were mini avalanches happening the whole time we were there, and pieces of rock and snow were falling down, and the noise it makes is incredible. It was so surreal to be trekking on Franz Josef glacier - really good experience, then we got the helicopter ride back again. Once more this is a moment when its good to be the smallest as I got put in the front seat on both journeys so I got the best view. It pays to be vertically challenged!!!!!!

Wednesday - moved on again today, stopped off at Lake Matheson in Fox Glacier, then ended up in Makarora, which has a population of 40!! We ended up in the bar (again) to do the big group night karaoke - which actually was absolutely hilarious. Everyone had their names in a hat, then everyone chose a song to go in a hat, then you have to sing whatever was pulled out with your name. I got the 'Shoop shoop song' which was fine as I have mastered this before at G's Wine Bar karaoke several years back, and after me, Shelley and Vicky had polished off 3 bottles of wine, this was no issue!! Besides, all of us were so into it, dancing and cheering everyone on, it was just great fun. We decided to get up later to do Abba's 'Gimme gimme gimme', and I will post the video clip later to show just how utterly crap we were, but us girls along with our token guy Will really are 'Team Awesome'. Ended up going back and crashing in our T-Piece place, then a few hours later one of the girls bought back one of the lads on our bus to our room, and thinking I was asleep decided to get to know each other a bit better. Of course Im not asleep as they had bloody woken me up crashing through the room, and therefore I had to experience my first night of backpacker hell of listening to Vicky and Peter the Austrian getting cosy. Apart from smothering my head with a pillow or drowning my head in the toilet there wasn't much I could do, as it would be rude to interrupt them, but the worst thing was that immediately afterwards he started snoring like a dying walrus. I hissed at her to check if she was awake, because if she was I would have got her to smack him in the face to shut him up, but she was passed out - that girl can sleep through anything, so I was very close to throwing a pillow at him, or generally smacking him in the face myself, but that would mean getting out of my liner, which when your in it is not the easiest thing to do, as you are wrapped up like a glowworm, so I had to just curse under my breath and pass out. Also, this guy really does look about 12 years old, he's barely legal I swear. Anyway, when she found out in the morning that I hadn't actually been asleep, she was so sorry and has been grovelling all day since, being extra nice to me, lending me her pillow on the bus so I could get some sleep, and generally trying to keep me sweet. Therefore I am making the most of this. Ha ha ha - sucker!!!! We got back on the bus and made our way to Queenstown, where we stopped off at the worlds first commercial bungy sight and watched people do it including Dave off our bus, but me and Shelley have booked in to do the Nevis jump tomorrow which is 134m high - the worlds 3rd highest jump. Oh my god - yes I truly am insane!!!!! Went out on the town tonight with our bus group and drivers, went for a big pizza meal then to some bars where they were playing some banging tunes. Was so in the mood to stay out all night,but as me and Shelley were doing the bungy in the morning,we decided to leave at 12am before we turned into pumpkins. This is a miracle for us 2,we can't say no to a vodka, but we managed it, even though we were so busy shaking our stuff on the dancefloor. Shelley is awesome.She is 23 and reminds me of me 5 years ago, we have exactly the same life story,and we always look after each other no matter what, people are constantly mistaking us for sisters, and we went to bed to refresh for the morning as we were both crapping ourselves.

Friday 21st November 2008 - got up this morning and booked in for the bungy at 9.45am. This is the highest bungy in NZ, and the worlds 3rd highest jump at 134 meters. I have always sworn on my life that I would never do a bungy as the thought scared the living daylights out of me, I would have rather cuddled a tarantula - and I am an arachnophobic, so I though hell why not,and if I'm going to do it, lets just jump in and do the highest one possible. Smart move.We drove out there, and then me and Shelley were the last ones to take the cable car as we weighed less than everyone else, so we watched people do it, and I can not describe the pure terror and fear I felt.I felt like I was in a goldfish bowl,my heart was pounding,I was almost hyperventilating, and I felt weak all over. Shelley was really good and made me feel better, and we got to the jumping point in the middle of the canyon,they were playing some pumping tunes, so it totally took my mind of it and I was just dancing around the hut, watching the others jump. When it got to my turn,the heart palpations started. I was 2nd to last - NOT the good moment for being the smallest, and they got me in a chair and strapped up my ankles and waist. The guys were really nice and said the more scared you are, the better the after feeling. I had to shuffle to the platform where the cold air hit my face, and I did not look down. They are not allowed to push you,you have to jump yourselve. This was one of the biggest fears of my life, and they counted down to 3, and I just for a second thought that I could not do it,but when they got to the count of 1, I just launched myself of the platform,and plummeted headfirst 134 metres down. My god, it was terrifying, but truly amazing. I was so proud of myself for conquering that fear, and as I bounced back up,all I could do was whoop and scream with joy and elation. You have to pull a chord to pull yourselve back into a sitting position before they hoist you back up.Now I already knew I would fail at this. I pulled the chord several times and it would not work,so they had to hoist me back upside down. I managed to lift my head up and clung onto that rope for dear life. Even if I had wanted to let go I could not have,my hand was clenched round it for dear life, it was NOT moving. When I got back up the guy said I could let go and I was like "no way", and I was just trying to ctath my breath the whole way up my body was so pumped full of adrenaline. Awesome, truly awesome beyond words.Me and Shelley managed to have a few hours to calm down, then we went back into town and met Vicky as we were all doing the Shotover Canyon swing. Nothing like scaring the crap out of yourself twice in one day. This is the swing that Jack Osbourne did on his t.v show 'Adrenaline Junkie'. We got there and the heart palpatations started again. There are several ways you can throw yourself off, and I chose the chair. Basically its 109 metres up, you have a 60 metres freefall, then you go into a 200m swing at 150km/hour speed.The guys found out I had done the Nevis bungy that morning, so they wound me up and terrorised me.They told me to look over the edge then pretended to throw me off, and caught me at the last minute,so I'm screaming like a little girl. They then strap me to a chair which is facing backwards, and its like when you swing backwards on your chair at school and loose balance. Again I was terrified beyond words - why do we find torturing ourselves so much fun???? They leant me over and told me to slowly overbalance - this is after winding me up saying my straps were too loose and I was not harnessed in properly - Kiwi sense of humour (warped). I was trying to catch my breath,psyching myself up and counting to 3. I leant back to let myself go, and the b******s caught me an pulled me back to make me do it all over again. The second time I just leant back and that was it - off I went. I spun over in the chair and went swingng towards the floor screaming my head off,but again it was the most amazing feeling, and when your left swinging you just end up laughing your head off, on such the ultimate high. They then hoisted me back up and it was soo cool - loved it!! Jack Osbourne eat your heart out!!!! To celebrate after we went for the famous Queenstwon Ferg burger (granted I had never actually heard of it before, but our drivers hightly recommended it - good choice), then went for a few vodkas. I say a few, but I've just got back,its 3.30am now and our bus leaves at 6.30am Oooops!!!

Saturday - well we managed 1 hours sleep before getting up, and we all felt like death. Andy the trainee bus driver was ripping the piss out of us all day, and kept coming over to wake us up as we tried to sleep, but give him some credit, he came over and sat next to me and allowed me to use him as a human pillow for a while and stroked my hair as I was almost comatosed, then got me a paper sick bag as I really thought I was going to chunder. Luckily I didn't. Then got the boat cruise down the Milford Sounds. Its beautiful with all the waterfalls down the cliffs, but it was hammering it down, so got slightly soaked, and the boat started to rock really badly. I had to go up top to get air to the total amusement of all the drivers, but one poor girl was actually sick. Then ended up staying overnight in a hostel where we did nothing but sleep for 9 hours straight over night - desparately trying to humanise ourselves again. Now we are used to sharing a room with Will, and his flip flops stink to high heaven, but he leaves them outside the room at night in consideration, but we also had 2 other guys in there, so 6 people in a room with no windows open all night. Hmmmm. Now when I woke up I really thought I was going to be sick, the room stank so stale it was unbearable. Now when us girls share its fine, it smells like hair products and perfume, but sorry guys - no offence but when we share with you its so rank beyond believe, its stale feet, farts and death breath. Its sooooo disgusting, the guys really do NOT have the same personal hygiene skills that we ladies do. I had to run out gagging then get Will to spray the room with his deodrant just so I could stay in there long enough to pack and not die from suffocation. N.B - ALWAYS have the window open overnight.

Sunday - went to Invercagill today and did b***** all pretty much.

Monday - went to Dunedin today. For the first time ever, me, Shelley, Vicky and Will were awake on the bus for the entire journey. This is unheard of, we are always sleeping - due to hangovers, ahem. We got out of bed buzzing - due to it being our last day together, and the hyperness set in, so we were like naughty schoolkids on the back row just singing and dancing away. This got everyone else hyped and the drivers decided to then start karaoke on the bus over the commentary microphone, so everyone joined in and it was just a really fun journey, I think everyone was on their happiest moods trying to make the most of it before people split off. We stopped off at Curio Bay, then further along the line at a different beach and saw 2 huge seals swimming right by the shore and getting out onto the land. We could not go more than 10 metres close to them as they are so dangerous. Got to Dunedin and the whole bus went on a big night out together. We did a pub crawl, and we ended up in a bar where the staff were giving us free shots and pouring tequila into peoples mouths at the bar, then getting us all to get up on the bar and dance. Very Coyote Ugly. It was a great night, but hilarious watching the others. Some people have hooked up on the bus, and then argued and gone off with others to make the other one jealous. Quite sad really considering their like my age, its like being back at school sometimes. Anyway, a couple of the guys were then trying to come onto me and Vicky to make their 'ex-holiday flings' jealous, and it ws just like No way mate, not being part of that game, then we watched highly amused as people went back together just to get back at others. Pathetic. Me and the girls however have standards and after being harassed by a couple of local Kiwi friut nuts, decided to leave at about 3am. There was one 21 year old local who was trying it, so I politely asked if he was planning to chop me up into little peices and send me back home bit by bit. The look on his face told me that this was actually a very huge possibility, so the 2 Dave's on our bus escorted me and Vicky back to the hostel for our safety, then us 4 just sat in the kitchen drinking tea and eating toast til 4am, discussing life and the universe. Random. We then crawled into bed to get a whole 2/3 hours sleep. We really are getting pro's at this non sleeping thing, and its back up to the North island tomorrow.