The San Blas Islands, what an epic trip! But before I begin to tell the tales of this mega escapade let me first apologise. This blog is coming at least three weeks late from my return from the closest thing to Paradise I have ever visited. Therefor there may be much less detail in than I hoped for in this blog and maybe even stories I have forgotten about due to my hazy memory of events due to copious amounts of alcohol consumption, I will also apologise for the high volume of the word Paradise, which will no doubt come up more times than listening to Coldplay's hit song Paradise on repeat for an hour. So now with the formalities out of the way let me crack on and tell you about the time I sailed through paradise with an awesome crew and an even better set of people.

To go back right to the start, we were in San Gil when Earl my travel companion for five months had just booked his flight home, I wanted to stick around see some more of America and maybe hot one more adventure before heading up to Canada to work a ski season in Whistler. I wasn't short of offers, I knew friends in Mexico, my problem with that was I would have to leave Colombia sooner than I wanted. I could have also made my way down to see Doctor Suze in Mendoza for her birthday again problems occurred with the price of flights and the fact I would be heading in the wrong direction. I would be going down to only go back up. I recalled a conversation with Abbie back in Banos, the town in Ecuador not the bathroom. And her telling me Isabelle and her would be sailing from Cartagena to Panama, at first I dismissed the idea and then shew shown me a photo, it was of a single white any beaches, with a single palm tree surrounded by clear blue skies. At the time I thought yeah this is too good to be true and dismissed any interest of going, but intrigue got the better of me as I typed San Blas islands into google. I was greeted with pictures I had only saw on postcards, no they are better than post cards. The pictures reminded me of the beach / tropical island background you could get on a Microsoft PC or laptop. My decision was made and I messaged Isabelle to see if they wouldn't mind me tagging along. Of our course she said yes, who wouldn't want this bloke as a travel companion?

Now let us fast forward a few weeks to the 4th November 2014 - which would be the day we set sail to Paradise. Abbie, Isabelle and I arrived at Club Nautico, where our boat the Sailing Koala was docked to drop off our bags and then have the orientation meeting. My initial reaction to the rest of our group in all honesty wasn't the best. Six other people met us at the boat, Johannes a Dutch guy roamed off almost immediately for food and who I thought was pretty strange, then there were some more Dutch, a couple - Ruud and Gwenda who appeared not to get the memo about packing a smaller bag and had to repack on the pier. I frowned and sniggered at these travelling amateurs. Then there was an Aussie couple Emily and Alex, who didn't seem too bad and then Ryan, an American wearing a Liverpool jersey and anybody who knows me well knows my affection to people who wear Liverpool colours. I thought I was in for a long week of sailing. If anyone could ruin Paradise it would be a scouser. We made our way to a nearby supermarket with café where we met our captain and crew. Unfortunately our captain Fabian was not captaining this trip because of a dodgy ticker so we had his mate who we would meet later in the day, first Fabian told us about the rules, safety procedures and how to flush the toilet. It was also pretty important to tell someone if you were going to do a number two as your excrement got disposed into the ocean, behind the boat. So if you were swimming behind the boat when someone was sat on the throne making themselves a few stones lighter, you would be in for a treat. During the orientation an English guy strolled in late, it was the guy I watched United vs City with and staying at my hostel. His named turned out to be Kieran despite various guesses such as Michael and Jason. Despite being a Chelsea fan and strolling in late, he was about the only person I had a first good impression of. I'm happy to say my first judgements were entirely wrong. And that's one of the best things I've learnt travelling. Don't necessarily go on the first judgements you make! Maybe it was down to the fact I was hoping for the Swedish volley ball team I had such an issue with my companions, or that I was tired but anyway I had no place to judge I was the man with a hideous moustache and looked like a sex offender, as Abbie liked to point out at every possibility. She insisted that I tell everyone immediately that the hair above my lip was not a regular occurrence but was to raise awareness for Men's health by taking part in Movember and to be fair she had a point. After the orientation meeting we went our separate ways to meet back up later for a group meal and to meet our captain.

Abbie, Isabelle and I spent the most of the day in the mall getting as much air conditioning as we could and hiding from the burning rays of the sun. The only time I left was to swap my old Colombian Pesos to US Dollars with Isabelle and get a panzeria and some sea sickness tablets. We all met back at the Sailing Koala between 6 and 7 and we were ready for the off, well nearly ready for the off at first, sorted out our sleeping arrangements, then we had dinner, a tasty tomato pasta combination if I remember rightly, then we had a bit of wait for our captain to fly in, he was called in from a vacation, and for him to go through the necessary immigration procedures. Eventually our captain Jose arrived and somewhere around the late evening we left and set off to Panama via the 300+ San Blas islands. My main aim that night was to stay awake until all I could see around me was sea, despite being knackered I had a solid effort but fatigue caught up with me and I headed to my bed with Colombia just a flicker of lights in the distance.

Staying up to see us surrounded by nothing didn't matter anyway as I had many opportunities the next day as we sailed all day and all we could see around us was a flat horizon divided by water and air. It was an incredible sight. We didn't see much throughout the day, the girls got excited at the sight of five dolphins during the day, and there was a Japanese boat, a log and a butterfly as we sailed over the wavy waters. The sea sickness tablets were a blessing, but even some people who had the tablets were still struggling with the effects of the motion of the ocean. I think most people had their struggles at one point or another, some people managed to pull through and others succumbed to feeding the fishes. I think the final sick tally ended at three, so out of the travellers it was only 30% which I don't think was too bad. What did baffle me was the choice of taco's for lunch, on the wavy seas they were incredibly hard to eat and most people ended up with it all over them, me especially. Iz even managed to spill hers on Abs. It was a messy affair and as good as the Tacos were I can't help think that maybe something more simple like sandwiches might have been a better choice. The sea sickness tablets caused a lot of drowsiness so the day was resigned to sleeping, feeling ropey and idle chitter chatter.

Despite trying to sleep on the deck I ended up in my bed. I woke up feeling very weird. It would have been a good time to have Earl around o any other of my friends to get things off my chest. But what happened in the night was that I had dream about my fellow travelling companion Isabelle, it wasn't a raunchy dream before anyone gets the wrong idea. But in the dream we were a couple, just going couple stuff, it was simple things too. But it really knocked me for six. Yeah I've always fund Iz a very attractive girl but I'd always looked upon Isabelle as a sister rather than a potential conquest. Anyway back to the San Blas islands.

As I slumbered out of bed for the usual breakfast of fruit, and toast with the choice of peanut butter or Nutella we were told that we would soon be at our destination. Unfortunately it was pissing it down with rain. It looked like we had come to paradise and forgot to pack the weather. We are at our breakfast in the gloom, wet weather and joked what it would be like if the rest of our trip would be served in a torrential downpour and British like Grey skies. The captain who had been known has captain lazy, as he was never doing anything, said that the rain was set in for the day, after all the sickness and dreariness on board this didn't lighten the mood at all. What did lighten the mood though was the glimmer of some Islands and boast on the horizon, and as we noticed them the sun started to try and break through the grey clouds caging the sun like an animal at the zoo. By the time we were at the islands the sun was out, furthering to our belief that el Capitan didn't know much. We were all soon in our swimmers and bikinis and heading to the closest island. Jungle and I were first there and I was surprised by the amount of trash that had been washed up on the shore, it was such random things as well tyre's, not any ordinary tyres either we found a massive tractor like tyre, there were light bulbs and of course your generic sort of trash like beer cans. Paradise had not got off to the best of starts with some gloomy weather and a trash filled island. But as the others snorkelled around the rubbish island, me and Jungle - who has the longest name in the world ever I think - Johannes Beijersbergen Van Henegouwen. I also mistook his first name for Janis, which I called him for around a day and a half until Abbie told me his real name, he had another name by then anyway - Jungle. So Jungle and myself decided to take the swim to the opposite Island and explore. It was a bit of a swim made complicated by the shallow coral approaching the island, it was impossible to walk on so we had to kind of crawl of it. The coral did claim it's victims though as Jungle got aa cut to the knee and I suffered a minor ash to the arm but we had made it to the Island. AN Island we decided to claim and name - Beer Island! We had big plans for Beer Island as we chilled out on one of its many luxurious beaches. The plan was to get many ladies there, possibly the Swedish football team, a sports channel and of course beer, what more would you need? We looked over to the boat and they were gearing up the dingy, we thought they were bringing over to see us at our newly claimed Island so shouted for them to bring beer. Things got misunderstood though and on the boat they thought we were shouting for help. Which we were in a away, helping us to quench our thirst for an alcoholic beverage. But Carmello soon came in his dingy and we were triumphantly retuned backed to our peers on the boat and telling them of our newly seized island and escapades. Some people claimed we would have needed to plant a flag for it to be claimed but we knew we had invaded and claimed an island. Beer Island.

That afternoon we sailed around to the other side of Beer Island, but instead of going back there we decided to go on another adventure. This time we would swim to the boats in the distance, not to invade and have our own boat but in hope of some scantily clad hot females. Kieran and Emily joined us for the second adventure of the day, presumably they were jealous of all the fun we had at Beer Island that morning and didn't want to miss out again on any shenanigans. As we swam closer to the boat, we discovered they were Canadian, then as we got closer we realised that we the occupants of the boat were a group of old folk who at this point were looking at us strangely and probably thinking what the hell our these guys doing. When we got to the boat we spent an awkward five minutes treading water chatting until they had sussed us out and realised that we were no harm and that if they gave us a beer we would soon be on our way after. So they invited us aboard there luxury yacht that semt like a hotel. I would have asked for a tour but I didn't want to be too cheeky as we chatted away over a beer about varying things. One of the gentlemen was even from near Whistler, where I would be heading to work for a ski season. It was quite odd as he said we would need to chat and we never did and then said he would give me his number but never did. It was like me chatting to a girl in a night club all over again. I wouldn't have minded another beer, but we had obviously out stayed our welcome when they insisted on giving us a lift back to our boat on their speed boat. So once again we arrived back at base after a triumphant (minus the lack of hot females) adventure. With dinner still a while off we swam to Beer Island to see the other side and give Emily and Kieran a guided tour the hot spots included shell beach, sunset corner and crab beach. I think they were impressed with what we had done to the place and our plans. But as the sun set we headed back to others on the boat who were playing a game of dice.

If I remember rightly dinner that night was an impressive salad. But it was after salad things got really impressive. As we made had our own self-made full moon party, which started on the boat, headed to Beer Island and ended up back at the boat. What added to the night was what every good full moon party needs - Face Paints. We decided on a theme of animals. Abbie painted me as a very camp looking Lion, despite my protests of wanting to look fierce. I painted Isabelle as a multi coloured butterfly, Kieran got done up as a cow, which more resembled a Dalmatian. Abbie opted to do herself as a snake. Ryan went for a tiger and then impressively painted Gwenda as a Parrott. Ruud was a mouse, and despite some hesitation we managed to get a spider and lady bird painted on each cheek of Emily. We even got Mike involved and he opted to be a Puma / Panther, some sort of big cat anyway. Then there was jungle, I'm not sure what he was trying to be maybe a crocodile but he painted his face dark green and he blended into the night like the jungle - hence his nickname. Drinks were flowing, we headed over to Beer Island with a cooler full of rum and coke and beers. Kieran, Mike and Ryan got a fire going after much effort, Ryan too his hammock and chilled out, something that would prove costly the next day after the amount of bites he had received. The rest of us got into a game of fives, which escalated to a game of tens. And all in all we celebrated the full moon and capture of Beer Island in style.

As most people drifted off I once again tried to sleep out on deck. It was that uncomfortable I'd find myself back in my bed though but the heat in the small room with three other full blokes was like a sauna so I found myself back and forth between too hot and too uncomfortable. Then at about 4am, the heavens opened into a massive storm. The only other person awake, suffering from the same issues as me was Emily. The storm was that bad that the engine had to be started so we wouldn't move, as we were up Emily myself helped baton down the hatches by holding some tarpauling in place, to be fair the tarpauling didn't do much as we were both still getting wet but it did feel like we were helping. I don't know how but none of the others herd or knew about the storm we had in the middle of the night as they awoke the next day. I guess Emily and I should take the credit for doing such an awesome job of battening down the hatches.

After breakfast which included a rare treat of scrambled eggs we left Beer Island and headed to new parts of the San Blas. We sailed past many phenomenal islands on our way to our first stop of the day. My favourites were the small ones with one single tree. It wasn't long until we were at our first port of call, an island which had a shipwreck just off the sure which made for some impressive snorkelling. After snorkelling around the small boat and seeing some colourful fishes and massive crabs we made our way to the island where the crew kindly bought us each a beer and we played a game of beach soccer, sorry Football. I've been in Canada too long! It was my first game of football for so long, and I loved being back in the thick of it. It started with Ruud, a good player who played regularly at home, Emily who said she'd played some soccer before and Isabelle, who bless her wasn't the best but she tried, we took on the foursome of Gwenda, Ryan, Kieran and Jungle. It became clear that we were the weaker team as Emily would lie on the sand most of the time or disappear into the sea and Isabelle well she was lie Rachel playing football in that friends episode. We added Mike to the ranks and were back in the game until he got called away to his dismay to help prepare lunch. I'm sure they could have coped without him for a short while but Captain Lazy was probably living up to his name. After Mike's departure I made some transfer business and swapped Isabelle for Jungle. It soon came back to bite me though as she got a goal straight away, I like to say it was a good goal and she knew what she was doing but it just took a massive deflection off her head, her other goal later on though was much better, nearly as good as mine. The teams were more easily matched now and the end result of a draw was perhaps fair.

Tired, hot and sweaty we headed to cool down in the sea and go back to the boat for lunch. After another impressive feed we headed to a new island. W eagerly swam there and were playing with the small ball at the beach when we were informed about a volleyball court just a short walk along the shore. We decided to play Foot Volley, I'm not sure of its proper official name but it's the game that the Brazilian's loved in Rio where they would keep it up with their feet and head and get it over the net. Kieran, Jungle, Emily and I took on Ryan, Ruud, Gwenda and Alex, who had finally joined in some group participation. We didn't get off to the best start and got crushed despite getting Isabelle in place of the wandering Emily. We then spent some time chilling out in the water and absorbing paradise before heading back to the boat. Emily along with Alex were later getting back to the boat ad Emily had the unfortunate incident of swimming though my waste. To be fair I made sure the back of the boat was clear and told everyone that I was going to drop the kids off. Still her hair looked much shinier after so maybe it's good for you.

I was excited for dinner that night, we were having lobster. Having lobster was on my bucket list but I never wanted to pay the massive prices for something I may or may not like. But tonight would be my opportunity. We headed over to an island to eat the shelled creature prepared by a local San Blas family. The lobster was served with salad, lentils and rice. I didn't really see what all the fuss was about to be honest. Yeah it tasted ok but nothing special but as the lobster veterans of the trip informed me it didn't taste as good because out on paradise island they didn't have the correct things to make it taste mind blowing. But still I had tried it, liked it and would have it again. It was also interesting seeing the San Blas Island locals. One of the kids took a shine to Jungle as he lay posing for a photo next to a heap of beer cans the kid kicked Jungle in the back and proceeded to sit on his shoulders giving Janis no choice but to give the little kid a shoulder ride around his home island. With dinner munched we headed back over to the other island picking up beers on our way. We drank, conversed, played fives / tens, Mike taught us salsa and then eventually got naked. Abbie was the instigator wanting to tick off skinny dipping on her bucket list. After a few she soon got starkers' and belted it into the sea. Ruud and Gwenda followed and then Kieran stormed in. After much deliberation and a helping hand Isabelle made her way in, and then Jungle obliged. Ryan and myself were not too keen, I mean I didn't even have the excuse that it was cold. But if you can't beat them join them as we stripped and made our way into the moonlit sea. It's fair to say we got to know each other far more than we expected that night as Abbie took home the prize of whitest ass.

You'd think I'd learn from the past two nights but once again I tried to sleep on the deck, and once again I was unsuccessful. I woke up early needing the toilet - a number two. I decided to cut out the middle man and do it straight in the ocean. I mean it was heading there anyway. The trick is though always s*** with your arse pointing in the way of the current something I learnt the hard way. s***ting in the ocean became a bit of debate I saw no problem with it, it ends up there anyway and you are pretty much self-wiping and I still don't understand any argument for it to be frowned upon.

After doing my business, everyone else arose and we had breakfast. Our morning would consist of going to the San Blas immigration island, to get our passports stamped and hand in documentation enabling us to enter mainland Panama. The island was tiny but still managed to have a hostel, museum and an airport but we spent most of our time trying to set up Isabelle with a local guard on the island she had took a shine too. To be honest I thought he looked a bit retarded. Once Immigration was finished we headed back to the Island we were at the day before and after a few group photos jumping off the boat we made our way back to the volleyball court for some more volley. This time we had Mike so I thought we would do better, we didn't as we crushed to another defeat. After a trip into the clear blue sea to cool down we had a game of regular volleyball and Isabelle, Gwenda, Kieran and I successfully beat Abbie, Ruud, Ryan and Emily. Thanks mainly to some sublime efforts from myself, I was don't really like losing and was covered in sand from my efforts diving about the place, but to be fair it wasn't all me the whole team did well, even Iz had her moments of magic.

Our last night was pretty relaxed, maybe because we didn't have much liquor left or maybe everyone was feeling fatigued from the previous days or it could have been that we had to get up at 6a, the next day. But after our Octopus pasta, something Gwenda and Ruud didn't find at all appealing we played the dice (a game far too complicated to write on this blog) and steadily drank the last of the booze. I don't know if it's because we are English, or we don't like waste but as everyone drifted t bed Kieran and I decided to finish all the booze before we hit the hay. And of course we did it, even finishing of the sangria which wasn't really to my taste until about four cups in.

It was my last night to try and sleep on the deck, I thought the alcohol consumption might help, to be fair it didn't the other nights so why would it now and once again I was defeated by the hard wooden benches not agreeing with my back or side. My last piece of action was to give the SAILING Koala boat my red ball which had been a source of good fun for us all on the journey before we headed off to Panama.

In conclusion Panama lived up to expectation and more. You look at the google images and think it can't look that good in person. Well it does. And I was lucky enough to enjoy it with some of the best people I've met travelling. I've only mentioned the crew fleetingly but besides Captain Lazy they were epic. Mie would have me in fits of giggles with his one word answers and his enthusiasm for the job he loves and also for getting involved like teaching us to salsa, helping build a fire and even getting his face painted. He would even offer you the place he was sleeping if you came out too hot not bothered if he didn't get any sleep himself he always put everyone else first and for me that is why Mike was an absolute legend. I didn't speak to Carmello as much but I know from others that did that he was quality and he was the man behind the majority of the great meals we had/ So if you go you won't be disappointed just make sure you go on the Sailing Koala boat and hope the captain's ticker is better so you don't end up with captain lazy. To sum this place up in one word would be impossible; paradise doesn't even begin to cover it. Just go there for yourselves.

Anyway until next time stay safe and take care

Adi

xx