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As I begin writing this entry, I'm sitting poolside listening to some tunes, drinking pear cider, soaking in some sunshine and taking the occasional dip. We got home at 7:30am this morning after a night of cheap drinks and epic DJs in the world's best known party hub. Uh Huh, we are in Ibiza baby!!
I could pretty much summarise our stay like this: party party party sleep eat beach party.
However I am not a woman of few words as you may have noticed, so here's the lowdown.
Mum wrote to me yesterday and subtly and suitably advised "rest up and try to drink a little less." Mum, you'd better stop reading, and skip straight to the next entry :-S Soz!!
We fly in at midnight on Wednesday and catch a taxi to Playa Den Bossa, toward the south of the island. Instead of the hotel we booked, we are shifted to its sister accommodation across the street, Ebano Apartments, and are shown to a large unit with a kitchen and a balcony overlooking a beautiful pool - score! It's not too late to go to a club but we've had a big day in Barcelona so we crash straight away.
The next morning we wander down to the beach with a couple of ciders. Bars line the shore and music floats out of their doors and onto the beach. It's a relaxed vibe, the weather is gorgeous, the water is pretty and the people watching is fun - guys in shiny gold trunks and floral budgie smugglers, girls of all shapes and sizes sun-baking topless and carefree.
Poms wander around trying to sell tickets for the clubs, and giving out free earlybird entry armbands. Ibiza survival tip #1!! I kick myself for being over organised and prebooking our tickets for about 30 euro each, half the door price but a far cry from free.
A young Italian hovers above us, "Hi guys!"
"Oh, no tickets thankyou we are fine"
He laughs. "No, no tickets! Where are you from?" We have a chinwag for 10 minutes before he finally cuts to the chase - a boat party that goes to Formenterra. No tickets, it's an armband. I'm tempted but Mark looks queasy at the thought. Maybe next time, ciao!
That night we catch a taxi into Sant Antoni and wander up the strip of bars. We see Mr T, cabaret girls, and a hens party. One of the hens vomits everywhere. Her friends ignore her until she whimpers for water. One of them passes her a Penis shaped water gun. You can use your imagination for the rest. The bar girls and boys stand out the front and try to lure us in with specials like a triple shot/free pour vodka mix and 2 shots for 5 euro.
Ibiza feels like a different timezone, a different world. The big clubs don't even really start to fill until 2am, you leave at about 7am, sleep til the afternoon, have breakfast at 3pm and lay on the beach or by the pool for a little while and before you know it it's time to start all over again. 3 nights of this and I know we are gonna be wrecked. We met a girl who is staying for 10 nights. I feel for her liver and other vital organs.
So at about 2am we head to Amnesia. The sound system is mint, and the line up is awesome - Sander Van Doorn, Above and Beyond and John O'Callaghan. We dance the night away. Lucky we had a few drinks in Sant Antoni first, as even the water in here is 8 euro. Ouch.
Sleep, eat, chill at the pool.
Start again.
We head to Sant Antoni a little earlier tonight, with a clear game plan to bar hop and barter for the cheapest prices. The first bar we enter is straight out of the 70s, every surface is gold glitter. The barman is English, we get chatting, he likes us, he starts pouring free shots for all three of us - Jaegermeister and something called Aftershock. "It kind of tastes like hand sanitiser," I say. "I wouldn't get away with this in England," he says, throwing back another. He shows us a cool trick, where he folds our 10 euro note into the shape of a polo shirt. We pay him in shirts for our drinks. "The boss gets so annoyed at me when he tally's up the till," he laughs.
Onto the next bar. Triple shot pints of vodka redbull, plus another 3 shots of schnapps - 5 euro. My next drink is a giant water, survival tip #2...oh and don't drink the tap water, we are on an island remember! Girls jump up and dance on the bar. On the way to the bathroom 2 smurfs try to pull me onto the dancefloor. While I'm gone the DJ walks along the bar pouring spirits straight into the open mouths of eager patrons, laybacks.
Its time to head for Es Paradis for the Fiesta Del Agua - the water party. This club is beautifully decked out, with white columns and ivy and flowers everywhere. We have no idea who the DJ is but the music is good. At 5am, fountains start raining water and the middle of the club turns into a pool. We splash around and dance, it's awesome fun, despite the cigarettes and rubbish floating everywhere..I try not to think about the bodily fluids that are sure to be in there also.
Our final night in Ibiza. I don't know Mark, maybe we should have an early night..we have a flight in the morning...we're not 18 anymore! He brings me Doritos, an avocado and some milk. Come on, get this in you. Ok, ok...good to go!
Sunset is at about 8:30pm. We've figured out the buses now, which is saving alot of money, but it's a little slower...Survival Tip #3: buckle up in taxis - if the speed limit is 80, they'll be doing 150. We chase the sun as it drops in the sky, but thankfully arrive in Sant Antoni in time to head to the famous Cafe del Mar to watch the sunset with a drink in hand.
Ok so that's kind of a lie, a small stretch of the truth. What, do you think we're made of money?? What we actually do is buy a litre carton of sangria for 2 euro and sit on the rocks in front of the cafe. It's what the cool kids do. It's a hazy afternoon and the sunset is a bit disappointing, so it's just as well we didn't bother with a meal and a chair!
We had no real plan for our final night, so at random we pick Space. Lining up at the door, cheesy 90s music filters out. Oh no. We've already bought the tickets. We wander in, through the first bar into the main room. Thank goodness, the music in here is pumping.
However. We still think we may have picked the wrong night. Dotted around the room are cages, where muscular men dance effeminately, dressed in leather bondage. Raised high above them, a skinny blonde man struts around in a feathered dress, and then a large trucky looking man brushes past us in a corset, hoop skirt and muzzle. I'm pretty sure I hear him growling.
Ummm. Each to their own and good for you boys, but admittedly this is a bit intense for us. Mark looks rather uncomfortable. We've already bought our tickets. We stand awkwardly against a wall and sip a 12 euro beer.
Then the boys leave and the girls come out. Mark is suddenly happy to stay. I shrug. Ok. As the night goes on the focus shifts from the kinky and bizarre to just plain awesome music, and it's a fun night. The lights come on and we are booted out.
As we leave the club and start the wander home, a group of men stand on the corner calling out to the passers-by.
Bloody hell Mark, did you hear what they just said?
Yeh, I'm not hungry.
Huh?
Yeh, I'm fine, I don't want no salad.
Fits of laughter. Mark, oh my god clean your ears out. They said, hey guys are you feeling good, want some Charlie, pills, hashish?
Ohhh whoa, I thought they said 'hey guys do you want some food'...I thought they must run a kebab shop!
Survival tip #4: no it's not a kebab shop, and no you are not hungry.
It's 6am and our flight leaves in 4 hours. We weigh up our options. We are exhausted, but that means if we sleep we will probably sleep through our alarm and miss the flight. It's time to man up, we are just gonna have to see this through. Ughhhh. We are way too old for this.
We wander down to the beach, pull up a deck chair and giggle at some of the antics, groan at others...some of these people are DEFINITELY way too old for this and it's kind of a sad and pathetic sight.
One younger fella dances in the water and falls over repeatedly in the sand. Later we chat with his sister who seems non plussed by this behaviour. He comes over to us.
Oh wow, Australian? Group hug!
Um, hey you have sand all over your face. It's kinda caked on your eyeball.
Oh right, yah.
If last night's sunset was a little disappointing, this morning's sunrise on the beach is absolutely stunning.
Cheers Ibiza you crazy lady, we'll be back...just give us a little recovery time.
ZZZZZZZZZ......
- comments
Rachel You are one crazy girl
neets awesome. a little too awesome.
Liza Crazy stuff. Going to book my flights to ibiza right now. I will be the one who is way too old, but that sounds like fun